Wednesday, June 29, 2011

i love chembur

If you don’t know Chembur, then praising it is a bit like trying to sell you a date with an unattractive cousin purely on the basis of their wonderful personality. Because honestly, if you’ve lived here – however briefly – you’re bound to love Chembur’s tree-lined roads, its few remaining old Goan bungalows, and its still-extant sense of neighbourhood.

But if you’ve never lived here you’re likely to get caught up in small details like the atomic reactor close by, near the Turbhe (Trombay) Hills; fertilizer factories and refineries around us; and the noxious dumping ground further north in Deonar. All very bad for health, I’ve heard, but like others who live here, I prefer the blissful path of denial. Because seriously, if an atom is split behind a verdant hill and I don’t hear it, it’s not anything to go nuclear about, is it?

Unlike the atomic reactor, the Deonar Dumping Ground definitely makes its presence felt – especially if you’re downwind. In fact, garbage is why the city first laid railway lines to Chembur in 1906, bringing its refuse into Deonar, and with it, the start of construction. Goan Catholics came here between the late ’20s and the ’30s, followed by the Sindhis in the ’40s and South Indians in the ’60s. Hemmed in by the new middle-class colonies, Chembur’s original villages retracted shyly, and only a few still survive as gaothans. Each of these parts – the Marathi, the South Indian, the Sindhi and the Goan – has a distinctive ethos. It’s wonderful to walk through the localities and get a sense of what it must feel like to live among people who eat, drink and pray like each other.

But you mustn’t think of Chembur as a bucolic hick-town. We’ve been groped by glamour in our day. Raj Kapoor built the RK Studio here in 1950, and between the ’60s to the ’80s, stars like Ashok Kumar, Nalini Jaiwant, Shivji-ke-filmi-avtar Trilok Kapoor, the redoubtable Kishore Sahu, and lovable Dhumal lived here. Shilpa Shetty was my junior in school (though I personally have no recollection of this, but hey, that was many surgeries ago!) and so, they tell me, was Vidya Balan . Anil Kapoor and Shankar Mahadevan attended the boys’ school across the ground.

Neighbourhood gems:

Food at the Station: The market at Chembur Station has a powerful pull. Probably because it’s actually a foodcourt disguised as a shopping haven. Satguru Pavbhaji makes the stuff piping hot and you wash it down with sweet, cold mosambi juice. Exactly the balm you need after you’ve dodged cars, hawkers, and people’s elbows to buy veggies. A particularly tasty Mumbaiyya version of bhel puri, made in spectacularly smelly environs, can be had at Gupta Bhel. Across the road, after the sun sets, the mutta dosai works some egg magic on the dosa theme. At Hotel Saroj, the Sweet Nazis will order you to queue up for their yummy faraal, and no talking in the line back there.

Sindhi camp: Morarji Desai, it is said, first looked at the rolling greens of the military-owned Chembur Camp area and decreed that it should be used to house Sindhi refugees. Slowly, houses, schools and eateries mushroomed on the stretch outside the Golf Club. Sindhi Camp’s ‘food mile’ is the culinary expression of a nostalgic community, and everyone’s invited to eat the chaats at Jhama and Sindh Paani Puri House, and the kheema and paya at King’s or Sobhraj. The man at the counter in Jhama is stern, but ask nicely, and he might tell you that Raj Kapoor often took their gulab jamuns to Russia.

Mallu joints: Built in the ’60s for the employees of Burmah Shell, the buildings of ‘Shell Colony’ didn’t meet the company’s standards. So the flats were sold in the open market to working-class families – mostly Malayalee. With time, some phenomenal Mallu eating joints grew around the area – like ‘Jose’ under the railway bridge, which served marvelous shark-fin curry and hot jeera water (it’s shut now). Pradeep near Sawan Bazaar makes a phenomenal beef fry, and at Sunny’s (opposite ‘Hot Baby’ Rasila Bar) fish is conjured into a mean ‘meen curry’.

Soul watch: In Chembur you could pray up a multi-faith storm. Apart from the many dargahs and the Turbhe mosque (one of the city’s oldest), Chembur has the stately OLPS Church and many Syrian Christian churches. The most interesting among its temples is the 400-year-old Bhoolingeshwara Temple near the Fine Arts Hall. It is chief among Chembur’s six or seven gaondevs, village temples which once stood at the ‘borders’ of the smaller villages here. Chembraayi, the gaondevi of Chembur, a shapeless stone form, wears a benign smile and presides over us from a ceramic-tiled room in Charai village, Sindhi Camp.

Green memories: Though Chembur’s tree cover has reduced dramatically of late, it still has many trees, and trees mean birds. All over Deonar and Chembur, you can sit in your balcony and see golden orioles, crow pheasants, magpie robbins, red-vented bulbuls and owls. Industrial development around Mahul has meant that not too many residential buildings came up there, leaving the mangroves for aquatic birds. Take a fishing boat from the Mahul Jetty to get up close and personal with Mumbai’s annual pink visitors, the flamingos.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Of sleeping... and swearing!

The eagles who soar through the sky are at rest
And the creatures who crawl, run and creep.
I know you’re not thirsty. That’s bull***t. Stop lying.
Lie the **** down, my darling, and sleep…


Not my lines, but lord, how I wish they were. Novelist Adam Mansbach, exhausted with trying to get his daughter Vivien to sleep, wrote the longish, cathartic poem Go the F*** to Sleep. While it rhymes like a children’s picture book and is drawn by Ricardo Cortés to look like one, it is not to be read out to your child. Not unless you want her to grow up with the vocabulary of a truck driver. Because this best-selling ‘children’s book for adults’ generously uses the F-word about kids’ reluctance to fall asleep.

I can see your raised eyebrows from here. The thing is, till you have tried to put a reluctant child to sleep, you have NO IDEA how tough it is. Most young parents learn – the slow, hard, humbling way – that kids have their own body clocks. It takes you two years or so to recognize this and officially give up hope. You may have dinner plates to wash or a cure for cancer to invent or your limbs may be falling off from sheer exhaustion. But baby refuses to shut shop till she wants to. There are still has so many toes and fingers to play with, and so much of your hair to pull. It’s enough to make you want a village to raise your child with!

Sleep patterns vary. Some kids sleep at 8 pm and wake up shiny-faced at 6 am. Some young debauches bounce off the walls till 12 am and then crash, only to come around at about 10 am the next day. Mine sleeps late and wakes up early. At 11.45 pm, when my eyelids start to close in the middle of some story she is telling me, she pulls them apart so I can pay her more attention. At an obscene 6.45 am, she’s up again (only on holidays), having remembered something she forgot to tell me last night.

Sleep deprivation, I have realized, is a fairly refined device of torture. A friend’s mother who had two kids in quick succession spent the next few years waking up at night for this one’s feeds and that one’s pee. She thought she would never ever sleep again, that her life would pass by in a miasma of tired sleeplessness. Or what Mansbach calls ‘…the frustration of being in a room with a kid and feeling like you may actually never leave that room again...’ Imagine, then, having twins or triplets.

As they grow, the exploration is more verbal. My kid isn’t obsessed with her toes any more; she is asking questions. How did cavemen have babies – there were no doctors to cut their tummies open, no? Why we have skin? Why are kids mean in class? Why are you mean to me? Can I be an actress? A dancer? Do taps need electricity? I know that the kind thing to do is to retire early, giving her the time to talk through her day. But life has this way of making bharta out of my best intentions, and invariably bedtime is fraught with a tug-of-war between my ‘Go-to-sleep!’ and her ‘Amma-one-last-thing!’

One of our unforgettable bedtime discussions featured this question: what are fathers for? To look after you, I reply, yours feeds and bathes you, no? Frustrated, she sits up. No, I mean before that – the mummy carries the baby inside her stomach. What is the daddy for? So she’s talking biology, I’m talking sociology. And to save myself time, I’m being thick too.

God knows I’m not shy of discussing anatomy. But at that time of the night, sleep and chores tugging at my mind, I want to, like Mansbach, be the bad parent and say, ‘Go the **** to sleep!’